How to Write a Meaningful Thank You Note

Keep it genuine: The goal of expressing appreciation should be to let someone know how their actions have impacted you and/or others. Youhave2freearticlesleftthismonth. Youarereadingyourlastfreearticleforthismonth. Subscribeforunlimitedaccess. Createanaccounttoread2more. Whereyourworkmeetsyourlife. Psychology HowtoWriteaMeaningfulThankYouNote Samplemessagesfromcommonworkplacescenarios. by ChristopherLittlefield by ChristopherLittlefield November17,2021 HBRStaff/GettyImages/the_burtons Tweet Post Share Save Print Summary.    Manyofusfearexpressingourthankstoothers. Wemightworrythatoureffortswillbemisinterpretedormakethepersononthereceivingenduncomfortable.Orwemightstruggletofindtherightwordstoexpresshowwefeel.Here’showtodoitright. Keepitgenuine: Thegoalofexpressingappreciationshouldbetoletsomeoneknowhowtheiractionshaveimpactedyouand/orothers.Ifyouhaveanyotheragenda,yourmessagewillnotbeauthentic. Sharewhatyouappreciateandwhy:Focusontheimpacttheiractionshadonyouandexplainboth whatyouappreciateandwhy.Thiswillhelptheotherpersonunderstandthereasonyoufeelthewayyoudo. Sendit:E-mailsgetlostandhandwrittencardsgetsaved.Writeyourmessageonapieceofpaper,post-itnote,orcardandgiveitdirectlytotheperson.Ifyouareatwork,youcanalsoleaveitontheirdeskorintheir“mailbox.” Tweet Post Share Save Print Leerenespañol Leremportuguês Whereyourworkmeetsyourlife.SeemorefromAscendhere. Weallwanttobeappreciated.Whetheryou’veacceptedataskwhileyourplateisalreadyfull,workedthroughweekendstogetaprojectofftheground,orsimplybeenthereforaworkfriendwhentheyneededyoursupport,anacknowledgementor“thankyou”cangoalongwayinmakingusfeelgoodabouttheeffortsweputin—andtheresearchsupportsthis. ArecentstudyfromMcKinsey&Companyfoundthatalthoughmostemployersbelievethatthelargenumberofpeoplewhoquittheirjobsthisyearwerelookingforbettercompensation,mostwereleavingbecausetheydidn’tfeelvaluedandlackedasenseofbelongingatwork.Anotherstudyfoundthatreceivingmorefrequentappreciationfromourcolleaguesandmanagersdoesn’tonlymakeusfeelrespected,it’salsolinkedtobetterperformance. Themanybenefitsofgratitudemaybeexplainedbythefeel-goodchemicalsreleasedinourbrainsuponexpressingorreceivingit.Dopamineandserotoninaretwoneurotransmittersresponsibleforimmediatelyupliftingourmoods.Whenwegiveorexperiencethanksdaily,westrengthentheseneuralpathways. Theproblemisthatmanyofusholdfearsaroundexpressingourthankstoothers.I’veseenthistimeandagainthroughmyworktrainingleadersintheartofrecognitionandengagement.Somepeoplewanttoexpressappreciationmoreoftenbutfearthattheireffortswillbemisinterpretedormakethepersononthereceivingenduncomfortable.Othersstruggletofindtherightwordstoexpresswhattheyfeel,ortheyworrythattheirremarksmightbeseenaskissinguporasmaskingahiddenagenda. Whilethesefearsarevalid,theycanalsostopusfromexperiencingthelonglistofrewardsgratitudehastooffer.OnemethodI’vefoundusefulforovercomingthemisstartingsmall,withasimplethank-younote.Thereareafewsimplerulesyoucanfollowtomakesureyoureffortsaretakentoheart(andnotnegativelymisinterpreted). RulesforCraftingaMeaningfulThank-YouNote Keepitgenuine. Thegoalofexpressingappreciationistoletsomeoneknowhowtheiractionshaveimpactedyouand/orothers.Ifyouhaveanyotheragenda,yourmessagewillnotbeauthentic.Still,youneedtobethoughtfulwithyourwordsifyouwanttocomeacrossasgenuine. Setthecontext. Ifyou’veeverbeensurprisedbyacompliment,thenyouknowthatitcanfeelgood—andsimultaneouslyjarring.Thisisbecauseyouaretryingtotakeintheotherperson’swordswhilealsointerpretingtheirintentions,especiallyifthecomplimentarriveslateorcatchesyouoffguard. Asthepersongivingthanks,youcanputtherecipientateasebysharingthecontextofyourmessage(orwhatpromptedyoutoapproachthem)first. Examples: Iwasreflectingonourlastprojectovertheweekend,andIrealizedIneversaidthankyou. WehavebeensobusylatelythatIrealizedIhaven’ttakenthetimetoexpressmyappreciationforallyourgreatwork. IwasreadinganarticleinHBRaboutexpressingappreciationandIthoughtofyou. Sharewhatyouappreciateandwhy.  Next,focusontheimpacttheiractionshavehadonyou.Itmaybeassimpleasbringingasmiletoyourfaceonatoughdayorasbigassupportingyouthroughadifficultperiod.Bespecific,andexplainbothwhatyouappreciateandwhy.Indoingso,you’llhelptheotherpersonunderstandthereasonyoufeelthewayyoudo. Example1: Whatyouappreciate: Asyouknow,lastyearwasextremelyhardforme.Iwastryingtoworkfromhomewhiletakingcareofmyparentsatthesametime.Nomatterhowbusywewere,youmadetimeineverymeetingtoaskaboutmyparentsandcheckinonhowIwasdoing. Whyyouappreciateit: Iknowthisisjustwhoyouare,butyourcheck-insalwaysmademefeelbetterandhelpedmenavigatethislastyear. Example2: Whatyouappreciate: TheotherdayIwasfeelingcompletelyoverwhelmedandalonetryingtogetthereportdonefortheclientmeeting.Iknowitmayhavebeensimpleforyou,butwhenyousteppedupandofferedtohelpformatthefinaldocument,itmadeahugedifference. Whyyouappreciateit: Alotofpeopleoffersupport,butfewputtheirwordsintoaction,andIcan’texpresshowmuchyoursupporthelpedmegetthejobdoneandmademefeellikeapartoftheteam. Example3: Whatyouappreciate: Iknowittookcourageforyoutogivemehonestfeedbackaftermylastpresentation.IwantyoutoknowIreallyappreciateyourdoingthat. Whyyouappreciateit: Ialwaysaskforfeedback,butpeoplerarelysayanythingmorethan,“Youdidgreat.”Yourfeedbackhelpedmerethinkmypresentationandgavemeconcretethingstoworkon.That’sexactlywhatIneededtoimprove. Closethemessage. Withthecoreofthemessagedrafted,it’stimetoendthethank-younote.Youcandothiswithasimple,straightforward“thankyou”oramoredetailedsignoff. Examples: Thankyouagain,Ireallyappreciateworkingwithyou. EventhoughImaynotsayitallthetime,Iappreciateallyoudo. Thankyouagainforyoursupport,itmadearealdifferenceforme. Thankyouforallthatyoudo. Thankyou! Sendit.  E-mailsgetlostandhandwrittencardsgetsaved.Therefore,writeyourmessageonapieceofpaper,post-itnote,orcardandgiveitdirectlytotheperson.Ifyou’reatwork,leaveitontheirdeskorintheir“mailbox.”Ifyou’renotgoingtoseethemforawhile,snapaphotoofyourmessageandsendthepersonthepicture,orbetterstill,mailthecardtothem. Sendingahand-writtenmessageisimportantbecauseitgivestheotherpersontheopportunitytotakeinyourappreciationwithoutfeelingthepressuretorespondonthespot.Ifyouknowthepersoncanfeeluncomfortablewithpraise,removethepressuretoreplybysayingsomethinglike,“Pleasedon’tfeelcompelledtorespond.IjustwantedtoletyouknowIappreciateworkingwithyou.”  WaystoMakeYour“ThankYou”Meaningful Ifyou’rethinkingaboutwhattosaywhenyouextenda“thankyou”toyourcolleagues,herearesomesamplemessagesfromcommonworkplacescenarios: 1)Yourcolleaguesteppedinwhenyouneededtotakesometimeoff. HeyKevin,  Ijustgotbackfromspendingsomemuch-neededtimeawaywithmyfamily.IwantedtothankyouforsteppingupandcoveringformewhenIwasgone.Iknowyoualreadyhavealotonyourplateandthefactthatyoutookonmyworkloadaswellmeansalottome.IjustwantyoutoknowIreallyappreciatewhatyoudid.  Thankyou! 2)Someonedidsomethingreallykindforyou.(Sentyouacarepackage,threwyouabirthdayparty,madeyounotesfromameetingthatwasn’trecorded,orreachedouttocheckinwhenyouwerenotfeelingwell.)  HiMaria,  Ijustreceivedthecarepackageyousentandwantedtosaythankyou.Asyouknow,workhasbeenbrutaltheselastfewweeksandwhenIgotthepackageinthemailtoday,itmademyday.Thankyouforallthatyoudotomakeusfeelcaredforatwork.Itmakesahugedifference! 3)Someoneadvocatedforyoutogetaraiseorpromotion. HiKira,  IheardfromAyathatyouputmynameforwardforapromotionandIwantedtosaythankyou.RegardlessofwhetherIgetitornot,Iamhonoredyouthoughtofmefortheposition,andIcan’tthankyouenoughforallofthetimeyou’veinvestedtohelpmegrowovertheselastfewyears.Ifeelextremelyluckytobeabletolearnfromyouasaleaderandappreciateallthatyouhavedoneforme.  Thankyou.  4)Yourteammembershavebeenworkingovertimetogetsomechallengingprojectsfinished.  HiJose,  WehavebeensobusylatelythatIrealizedIhaven’ttakenthetimetoexpressmyappreciation.Iknowtheworkloadhasbeenalotthesepastfewweeksaswetrytowrapupourbigproject. Youhavebeenworkingyourtailoff,puttinginextrahours,anddoingsomanythingsbehindthescenestomakethishappen. Iappreciateallthatyoudo,andIlovehavingyouonourteam.Wecouldnotdothisgreatworkwithoutyourinvaluablecontributions. 5)Yourbossgaveyouanopportunitytotaketheleadinahigh-profilemeeting.  HiMohamad,  Iwasthinkingaboutlastweek’spresentationovertheweekend,andIwantedtosaythankyou.  Iknowthatthiswasaverybigaccount,andyoutookariskinlettingmetakethelead.Ireallyappreciatewhatyoudid.IhadsharedthatIwantedtogetmoreexposureinourlastoneonone,anditmeansalotthatyoutookthatseriouslyandmadeithappen.Iknowthatnotallmanagersdothat,andIfeelextremelyluckytogettoworkwithyou.  6)Ateammemberreceivedsomedifficultfeedbackandtookactiononit.  HiIra,  IwantedtoletyouknowIreallyappreciatehowmuchyou’vebeenworkingonthethingswespokeabout.Gettingchallengingfeedbackisnevereasy,andmanypeoplegetdefensiveandneverdoanythingaboutit.   Overthelasttwomonths,Ihaveseenyoureallyshifthowyoucollaboratewithothers.Ihavewatchedyouaskmorequestionsinmeetings,askothersforinput,andputtheirrecommendationsintopractice.Asaresult,Ihaveseenyourworkandtheteam’sworkimproveforthebetter. IjustwanttoletyouknowIseethedifferenceandappreciateeverythingyouaredoingtogrow. Keepitup,it’sinspiring! Ascend Careerandlifeadviceforyoungprofessionals. SignUp Youcanviewour othernewslettersoroptoutatanytimebymanagingyour emailpreferences. 7)Someonehasjustbeengreattoworkwith.  HiVlad, IwaslaughinghystericallyafterthelastmessageyousentonSlackandjustwantedtoletyouknowyouareamazingtoworkwith.Iknowthisisjustwhoyouare,butthefactyoucanfindsomethingtolaughorsmileaboutinthesedifficulttimesalwaysbrightensmyday.Onethingthatreallyimpressesmeisyourabilitytogofrommakingjokestodigginginandgettingworkdone.Ihopethisnotebrightensyourdayinthesamewayyouregularlybrightenmine(andothers)!  Sogoaheadandwriteoutthatthank-younote.Notonlywillitmakeyouhappybutthepersonreceivingitwillhaveagreatdayaswell. ReadmoreonPsychology orrelatedtopics InterpersonalskillsandInterpersonalcommunication ChristopherLittlefieldisanInternational/TEDxspeakerspecializinginemployeeappreciationandthefounderof BeyondThankYou.Hehastrainedthousandsofleadersacrosssixcontinentstocreatecultureswherepeoplefeelvaluedeveryday.Heistheauthorof75+TeamBuildingActivitiesforRemoteTeams—SimpleWaystoBuildTrust,StrengthenCommunication,andLaughTogetherfromAfar.Youcanfollowhisworkthroughhisweeklymailing TheNudge. Tweet Post Share Save Print ReadmoreonPsychology orrelatedtopics InterpersonalskillsandInterpersonalcommunication PartnerCenter Diversity Latest Magazine Ascend Topics Podcasts Video Store TheBigIdea Data&Visuals CaseSelections HBRLearning