Apology Accepted: How to Say Sorry in Korean

One is 미안 (mi-ahn), and the other is 죄송 (joe-song). They both mean “Sorry,” though the latter is considered more formal. Let's look at each, ... Home»KoreanVocabandGrammar»ApologyAccepted:HowtoSaySorryinKorean ByStevieD. Lastupdated: February13,2022 ApologyAccepted:HowtoSaySorryinKorean You’rerunninglate…again. YourKorean(soon-to-be-ex)girlfriendhasbeenwaitinginacoffeeshopfortwohours.And,judgingbythelooksofthoseemojis,she’sfumingmad. Whenyoufinallyarrive,youdecidetolightenthemoodandsurpriseherbycominguptoherfrombehindandcuppinghereyes,teasinglyasking“Guesswho?”…andpokingherintheeye,instead. Inmomentslikethis,you’llbeverygladtoknowhowtoproperlysaysorryinKorean. Here’sanotherpotentialscenario: Yesterday,yourKoreanbossgaveaC-levelpresentationwithaPowerPointPresentationyoupickedfromthinair.Youweresohungoverfromthenightbeforeandwereinsuchahurrythatyoumadeamessofthings.Youpracticallygoteverythingwrong. Likehisname. Yougotthefiscalyearwrong,somedecimalsandcommasonthenumbersgotmisplacedand,bytheendofthepresentation,youmadeitlooklikethecompanyhasbeenunderwaterforyearsandnegatedallthehardworkdonebyeveryoneinthecompany. Sotoday,youhavethehonorofbeingcalledtoyourboss’office.(I’mguessingapromotionisn’tontheplate.) Anapologyisdefinitelyinorder. Incaseyouhaven’tcaughtonyet,saying“Sorry!”inKoreanwillbethecruxofthispost. Andyou’dbetterdoitrightoryou’llbeoutofajobandaromanticpartnerverysoon.Andnobodywillbetheleastbitsorryforyou. So,let’sgrovelaway,then? ApologyAccepted:HowtoSaySorryinKorean Download: ThisblogpostisavailableasaconvenientandportablePDFthatyou cantakeanywhere. Clickheretogetacopy.(Download) The2MainWaystoSay“Sorry”inKorean Bythistime,youalreadyknowthattherearelevelsofpolitenessinKorean.There’stheformalorextrapolitelanguagethatyouuseforelders,andthere’sacasualtonethat’sthelanguageofclosefriends. TherearetwomainstemsforapologizinginKorean,aswell. Oneis미안(mi-ahn),andtheotheris죄송(joe-song).Theybothmean“Sorry,”thoughthelatterisconsideredmoreformal. Let’slookateach,andsomeoftheirvariations,incloserdetail. 미안(mi-ahn) Variations:미안,미안해,미안해요,미안합니다 미안(mi-ahn) Youcansimplysay미안.Butitwouldn’tmeanmuch. It’sthemostinformalwayofapologizinginKorean.It’snotthatseriousandhasalmostaplayfultonetoit,sometimesevenaccompaniedbyasmirk.Youusethiswhenaddressingchildrenorpeopleyoungerthanyou,andwhentheboo-booyou’vemadeisreallynotthatserious.Almostatokenapology,I’dsay. 미안해(mi-ah-nae) Yousimplyadd해(hae)tothe미안stem. We’restillinthecasualterritorywith미안해.Youuseitwhensayingsorrytoyourfriends.Soit’sprobablythemostcommonapologythrownaround. Also,thisisoftentheapologyusedinboyfriend-girlfriendrelationships.Althoughinthescenario,you’vecreatedabove,your“Sorry”mightbemoreacceptablewhenaccompaniedbyromanticgesturesof“reparations”likeflowersandchocolates,etc.(Imean,youdidpokehereye.) 미안해요(mi-ah-nae-yo) Yousimplyadd해요(hae-yo)tothe미안stem. With미안해요,we’renowenteringtheformalcategory.Thetoneismoreserious.Youuse미안해요forpeoplewhoarealittlebitolderthanyouandpeoplewhorankhigherthanyouatworkorinsociety. 미안합니다(mi-ah-nam-ni-da) Finally,whenyouadd합니다(ham-ni-da)to미안,youhave미안합니다,whichisthemostformalformofapologyofthe미안stem. Ifyouwant,youcanadd정말(jeong-mal)atthebeginningofthephaseandendupwith정말미안합니다(jeong-malmi-ah-nam-ni-da).정말istheKoreanequivalentoftheEnglishword“very”or“truly.”Addingitservesasanintensifierandwilllettheaggrievedpartyknowthatyou’retrulysorryforthehurtfeelingsyou’vecaused. Okay,let’smoveontothesecondstem. 죄송(Joe-song) Variations:죄송해요,죄송합니다 With죄송,we’regettingevenmoreformalwiththeapology. 죄송해요(Joe-song-hae-yo) 죄송해요isalsousedwithelders—likewhenyou’reapologizingtoparentsorgrandparentsandpeoplewhoareclearlyaboveyouinage,rank,orsocialstanding.Yourboss,inthescenarioabove,shouldatleastgetthisapology. 죄송합니다(Joe-song-ham-ni-da) 죄송합니다isaveryformalwayofsaying“Sorry.”Youknowthatwhenyouseeendingslike합니다,itmeansthesituationrequirespoliteandformallanguage. Youuse죄송합니다toapologizetopeopleyoudon’tknow.Let’ssayinyourrushtogettothecoffeeshopwhereyourgirlfriend’sbeenwaitingfortwohours,youbumpintosomebodyinthestreet.Yousay,죄송합니다. SoforaKoreanbeginner,you’dmostprobablyneedthisoneinyourarsenal.   KoreanPhrasestoExpressThatYou’reSorry 제잘못이에요.(Jejal-mo-si-e-yo.)—It’smyfault. Thisstatementisahumbleadmissionoffaultormistake,soyoucanaddittobolsteryourapology. TakenotethatinKorea,yousay“Sorry”onlywhenyou’veactuallymadeamistakeandhavecausedharmorhurt.It’sessentiallyanadmissionoffault.Meaning,themistakeisattributabletoyou. IntheWest,theword“Sorry”hasmorevarieduses.Forexample,“Sorry”canbeusedtoexpresshowsadorsorrowfulyouareatsomeunfortunateturnofevents—evenwhenyouclearlyhavenothingtodowithit. Let’ssayafriendfailedtomakethefootballteam.SomebodyfromtheWestwouldsay,“Dude,thatsucks.I’mreallysorrytohearthat.” Thisdoesn’thappeninKorea.Youdonotusetheword“sorry”becauseit’snotyourfaulthedidn’tmaketheteam.Soyoudon’tuse미안해or미안해요. Inthesituationofyourfriendnotmakingthefootballteam,youcansay안타깝네요(an-ta-kkam-ne-yo)instead.Itmeansyou’resadtohearaboutit…butnot“sorry.” 다시는안그럴게.(Da-si-neunangeu-reol-ge.)—Iwon’tdoitagain. Notdoingitagainis,ofcourse,thehighestproofthatyoureallyaresorryforwhatyou’vedone.Itprovestotheotherpartythatyou’reseriouslyrepentantofyouroffense. Sincesaying“Sorry”doesn’thappeninavacuum,whenapologizing,thereareassociatedgestures,facialexpressionsandtonesthatyoushoulddotoshowremorse. Bowingwhenaskingforforgivenessisexpected,especiallywhenaddressingelders,strangers,andthoseaboveyou.BowingisdeeplyrootedinKoreanculture,andtheybowtoshowrespect,gratitude,andregret.Waistbowingata45-degreeangleisstandard. But,justasyouhavetocalibrateyourapologytothedegreeofoffense,levelofregretandtherelationshipyouhavewiththeaggrievedparty,thebowiscalibratedaswell.Thethingtorememberisthattheworsetheoffenseandthedeeperyourremorse,theloweryoubowandthelongeryoustaydown. Bigbowsofapology,likewhenKoreanpublicofficialsorpublicpersonalitieskneelinfrontofthecamerastoshowremorseforanoffense,don’thappeneveryday.(AlthoughKoreandramasmakeitlookliketheyhappeneveryweek.) Whenaskingforforgivenesstopeopleyourage,thoseyoungerthanyou,yourgirlfriendoryourcircleoffriends,overtactsofformalityarenotrequired.Aslighttiltoftheheadanddeliveringyour미안해inasombertoneareenough. 제발화내지마세요.(Je-balhwa-nae-jima-se-yo.)—Pleasedon’tbemadatme. Anyonewho’slearningaboutawholenewcultureislikelytocommitasocialfauxpasthatcouldrequireanapology.Inthatcase,you’llneedtousethisapology. Differentcultureshavedifferentwaysofdoingthingsandyoumayinadvertentlycausealittlescenejustbecauseyoudon’tknowbetter.Forexample,animportantpartofKoreanetiquetteisthatelderssetthepaceoffamilyevents.Inadiningsituation,forexample,theoldestpersongetstotakethefirstbitewhichsignalsotherstostarteating.Youscarfingdownyourfoodbeforegrandmagetstoherownisnotanicepicture. Koreansaregenerallyunderstandingofforeigners’socialbooboos,butyoushoulddefinitelyhaveyour죄송합니다readyjustincase. HowtoRespondWhenSomeoneSays“Sorry”toYou Ontherareoccasionthatyoufindyourselfontheoppositesideoftheequation,andsomebodyhashurtyou,forgivenessisthebestattitudeforward. Youcansaythingslikethefollowingphrases: 당신을용서합니다.(Dang-si-neulyong-seo-ham-ni-da)—Iforgiveyou. Saythisinsombertonesandwithasparklingtearinyoureyeforfulleffect.Showtheotherpersonthateventhoughyou’restillhurt,you’rewillingtobethebiggerpersonandmovepasttheoffense. 사과를받아들일게.(Sa-gwa-leulba-da-deu-lil-ge.)—Apologyaccepted. Ifyou’rethemiffedgirlfriend,VisaandMasterCardalsoaccepted. 아니에요,괜찮습니다.(A-ni-e-yo,gwaen-chan-seum-ni-da.)—It’sokay,nevermind. Saythistotheotherpersonwhenyouwanttoplayitcool(eventhoughyouare,forinstance,literallybleeding).Itquicklyabsolvestheotherpartyoftheoffenseandrefusestotakethemistaketooseriously.Peoplemakemistakesandyou’dwantotherstoforgiveyouondaysyoumakeyours.   NowyouknowhowtosaysorryinKorean.Thisisn’talicensetodothingsyou’llneedtoapologizefor,butit’sagoodskilltohaveincaseyouneedit. StevieD. 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