Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Components and Tips - Psych ...

Intelligence, in the general sense, is the ability to learn new concepts and apply your knowledge to problems. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is similar. It's the ... PsychCentralConditionsDiscoverQuizzesResourcesSubscribeHowCanIImproveEmotionalIntelligence(EQ)?MedicallyreviewedbyKendraKubala,PsyD,Psychology—WrittenbyHilaryI.Lebow—UpdatedonJune6,2021ComponentsWhyit'simportantExamplesHowtoimproveEQTakeawayEmotionalintelligenceallowsyoutoenhancekeyareasofyourlifelikehome,work,andschool.You’veseenthem:Thepeoplewhoappeartobecoolasacucumberondeadline.Thosewhohandleawkwardfamilydinnerswithgrace.Theonesthatgetwhereyou’recomingfrom,withoutyouhavingtosayalot.That’sbecausetheymaypossessacertainskillsetinspades—emotionalintelligence.Intelligence,inthegeneralsense,istheabilitytolearnnewconceptsandapplyyourknowledgetoproblems.Emotionalintelligence(EQ)issimilar.It’stheabilitytolearnaboutyourselfandapplythatwisdomtotheworldaroundyou.ResearchsuggeststhatahighEQisassociatedwithanarrayofbenefits,fromimprovedmentalhealthandrelationships,tohigherjobsatisfactionandacademicperformance.Whatarethecomponentsofemotionalintelligence?Theterm“emotionalintelligence”wascoinedinthe1990s,thenpopularizedbypsychologistandauthorDanielGolemaninhisbook“EmotionalIntelligence:WhyItCanMatterMoreThanIQ.”Herearethe5componentshereferences:Self-awarenessIfyou’reself-aware,youcanseeyourownpatternsofbehaviorsandmotives.Youknowhowyouremotionsandactionsimpactthosearoundyou,forbetterorforworse.Youcannameyourownemotionswhentheycomeupandunderstandwhythey’rethere.Youcanalsorecognizeyourtriggers,identifyyourstrengths,andseeyourownlimitations.Beingself-awarecanalsomeanyou’rehumble—we’reallonlyhuman,afterall.Self-regulationIfyoucanself-regulate,youremotionalreactionsareinproportiontothegivencircumstances.Youknowhowtopause,asneeded,andcontrolyourimpulses.Youthinkbeforeyouactandconsidertheconsequences.Italsomeansyouknowhowtoeasetension,manageconflict,copewithdifficultscenarios,andadapttochangesinyourenvironment.It’sallaboutbringingoutthepartofyourselfthathelpsmanageemotions.MotivationIfyou’reintrinsicallymotivated,youhaveathirstforpersonaldevelopment.You’rehighlydriventosucceed,whateveryourversionofsuccesslookslike.You’reinspiredtoaccomplishgoalsbecauseithelpsyougrowasaperson,ratherthandoingitforoutsiderewardslikemoney,fame,status,orrecognition.EmpathyIfyou’reempathic,you’reahealthylevelofself-interested—butnotself-centered.Inconversations,youcanunderstandwheresomeoneiscomingfrom.Youcan“walkamileintheirshoes,”sotospeak.Eveniftheexactscenariohasn’thappenedtoyou,youcandrawonyourlifeexperiencetoimaginehowitmayfeelandbecompassionateaboutwhatthey’regoingthrough.You’reslowtojudgeothersandpossesstheawarenessthatwe’realljustdoingthebestwecanwiththecircumstanceswe’vebeengiven.Whenweknowbetter,wedobetter.SocialskillsIfyou’vedevelopedyoursocialskills,you’readeptatworkinginteams.You’reawareofothersandtheirneedsinaconversationorconflictresolution.You’rewelcominginconversation,usingactivelistening,eyecontact,verbalcommunicationskills,andopenbodylanguage.Youknowhowtodeveloparapportwithothersorexpressleadership,iftheoccasioncallsforit.Whyisemotionalintelligenceimportant?Humansaresocialanimals—we’rewiredforconnection.Themorewecanbuildpositiverelationshipsanddevelopcooperativeconnections,themoreenrichingourlivesmaybe.Unsurprisingly,researchhasshownthatthere’sacorrelationbetweenhigherEQandhappiness.Butevenwhenthegoinggetstough,EQcanhelpuswiththat,too.Inanacademicsetting,studentswhodemonstratehighemotionalintelligence,especiallyintheareasofemotionalregulationandempathy,maybelesslikelytoexperiencebullying,accordingtoresearch.Workisanotherexample.Researchin2013suggeststhatwell-developedEQcanhelpyouachievethegoalsofyourorganizationandincreaseyourjobsatisfaction,inpartbecauseofthepositiverelationshipsfosteredintheworkplace.Infact,accordingtothatsamestudy,ahighEQcanhelpotherpeoplearoundyouachievesuccess,particularlyingroupprojects.Whenyoumanageyouremotions,thisinfluencesthosearoundyoutodothesame.Everyonewins.ExamplesofemotionalintelligenceEmotionalintelligenceexistsonacontinuum.HerearesomecommonexamplesthatexplorewhatahigherversusalowerEQmaylooklike.Self-regulationScenario:You’reinameetingandabosscriticizesyouinfrontofotherco-workers.HigherEQ:Youmaintaincomposure,thenpolitelyexcuseyourselftoprocessyouremotionsinasafeenvironment.LowerEQ:Youmaybecomedefensiveandstormoutoftheoffice.EmpathyScenario:Yourroommatetellsyouthatithurtstheirfeelingswhenyouforgettotakeoutthetrash,whichyouagreedto.HigherEQ:Youexplainwhyyoudroppedtheballandtellthemyouunderstandwhythey’rehurt,thencomeupwithanactionplantogetherabouthowtogetbothofyourneedsmet.LowerEQ:Youfinditdifficulttounderstandwhythey’resoupsetandfeelattackedbytheircriticism.Self-awarenessScenario:Youandyourcolleaguewereupforthesamepromotion,buttheygotitinsteadofyou.HigherEQ:Youreflectandrealizethat,ifyou’rebeinghonestwithyourself,youweren’tworkingashardasyourco-workerandtheirpromotioniswell-deserved.LowerEQ:Youmayfireoffanangryemailtoyourboss,demandinganexplanationorthreateningtoquit.MotivationScenario:Youpassedanexamandpostedaboutitonsocialmedia.HigherEQ:You’reproudofyourselfforthegoalthatyouachievedandappreciativeofanysupportyoureceive.LowerEQ:Youmayquestionyoursuccessorworthbecauseyourpostdidn’tgetverymany“likes.”SocialskillsScenario:You’reonadateanditdoesn’tseemtobegoingverywell.HigherEQ:Youaskopen-endedquestions,maintaingoodeyecontact,andpracticeactivelistening.LowerEQ:Youmaystoppayingattentionanddecidetheremustbesomethingwrongwithyourdate.HowtoimproveemotionalintelligenceSomepeoplearebornwithEQ,whileotherscanthinkofitasaskillsetthatneedstobeacquired.Withpractice,it’spossibletodeveloporstrengthenit.Hereareafewwaystodojustthat:Self-awareness.Considersettingaregulartimeordaytojournal.Thiscanallowyoutoreflectonhowyoubehavedininteractionsandmakeanoteofthingsthatbotheredyou.Youcangobackandreadoverthemfromtimetotimeand“study”yourself.Youcanalsomeditateandobserveyourthoughts.Self-regulation.Itmayhelptopracticedeepbreathingexercisesregularly,especiallyduringconflict.Youcanlearntoreframechallengesasopportunitiesindisguiseand“failures”aslearningexperiences.Trytopracticeradicalacceptanceofanyemotionsthatcomeupandverbalizewhatyou’refeeling.Motivation.Considertakingtimeoutandcelebratingeachoneofyourwins.Whenyoudecideyouwanttodosomethingnew,it’sagoodideatoidentifyyour“why.”Itcanalsohelptobreakdownyourto-dolistintobite-sizechunks,ormicro-tasks,andtoworkwithanaccountabilitypartnerorcoach.Empathy.Tobuildempathy,trypayingattentiontoyoursurroundings.Seeifyoucanpickuponthe“energy”ofyourenvironment.Youcouldalsotrytalkingtonewpeopleorvolunteeringforacauseyoucareabout.Ifyou’restuckintraffic,considerlookingaroundatpeoplesittingintheircarsandseeingwhatyoucanpickupaboutthem.Socialskills.Aimtoputyourselfinnewsituations.Whenyoudo,trytopayattentiontoyourbodylanguageandmaintaineyecontact.Practicingactivelisteningcanbebeneficial,too.ConsiderthisquotefromGandhi:“Speakonlyifitimprovesuponsilence.”NextstepsSomepeoplehaveemotionalintelligencenaturally,whileothersneedtoworkalittleharderatit.It’swellworththeeffortyouputin,though,asitcanimprovemanyareasofyourlife.Ifyou’rereadytotakethenextstep,askifyourworkplacehasemotionalintelligencetrainingavailable.Youcanalsoenrollintrainingonline,liketheonethroughtheInstituteforHealthandHumanPotential.Believeitornot,youcanevenfindEQcoursesonSkillshareorUdemy,twosubscription-basedonlinelearningplatforms.Ifyouneedastartingpoint,takeafreeEQquizhere.Thismaygiveyouagoodideaofwhereyou’reexcellingandwhatareasyoucouldimproveon.Thebottomlineis:You’retheonewhogetstocontrolyouremotions,sotheydon’tcontrolyou.Onceyoulearnthisusefulskill,yourqualityoflifemayimprove.Thebetteritgets,thebetteritgets.LastmedicallyreviewedonJune6,20215sourcescollapsedGuerra-BustamanteJ,etal.(2019).Emotionalintelligenceandpsychologicalwell-beinginadolescents.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6572191/HogeevenJ,etal.(2016).‘Emotionalintelligence’:Lessonsfromlesions.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5807001/Leon-del-BarcoB,etal.(2020).Emotionalintelligenceasaprotectivefactoragainstvictimizationinschoolbullying.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7765427/Policy,data,oversight.(n.d.).opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/assessment-and-selection/other-assessment-methods/emotional-intelligence-tests/SrivastavaK.(2013).Emotionalintelligenceandorganizationaleffectiveness.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4085815/FEEDBACK:MedicallyreviewedbyKendraKubala,PsyD,Psychology—WrittenbyHilaryI.Lebow—UpdatedonJune6,2021ReadthisnextBecomeaBetterListener:ActiveListeningMedicallyreviewedbyVaraSaripalli,PsyDIfyou'vebeentold"Youdon'tunderstandwhatI'msaying"or"You'renotlisteningtome,"youcanbookmarkourpointersforhowtobeabetter…READMORETheBenefitsofEmotionalIntelligence(EQ)atWorkHere'showemotionalintelligence—aperson’sabilitytorecognize,understand,andempathizewithemotionspositively—canimpactsuccessinthe…READMOREEmotionalPersonalityTypeTestMedicallyreviewedbyVaraSaripalli,PsyDWhatisyouremotionaltype?Takeourquizandfindouthowyoumightlikelyreacttodifferentsituationsandhowtobestnavigateyourcurrentone.READMOREReady,Set,Journal!64JournalingPromptsforSelf-DiscoveryOnegreatwaytolearnmoreaboutyourselfistowriteyourthoughtsinajournal.Ifyou'renotsurewheretostart,theseprompts(andtips!)could…READMOREABIGHelpforBIGFeelingsMedicallyreviewedbyAkilahReynolds,PhDFinally,anarticlewrittenatalevelyourelementary-school-agedchildcanunderstand.We'regivingthemasimpleintroductiontotheirfirst…READMOREWhenPositiveVibesDon’tWork,aPityPartyCan.Here’sHowtoVentProductivelyMedicallyreviewedbyNathanGreene,PsyDThrowingyourselfa"pityparty"offersthechancetoexpressfrustrationandpainandbeginlettingthemgo.Here'swhygettingthosenegative…READMOREHowChildrenDevelopEmpathyA3-year-oldwhocriesout,“Mommy!Lookhowbigthatman’snoseis!”willprobablybepolitelyshushedREADMOREHowtoHelpYourKidUnderstandandExpressBigEmotionsMedicallyreviewedbyAkilahReynolds,PhDAllfeelingsareworthyofexpression,butkidsmaynotknowhowtodealwithnewemotions.Here'showyoucanhelpyourchildunderstandbigfeelings.READMORE33WaystoLoveYourselfMoreMedicallyreviewedbyAkilahReynolds,PhDLearningtoloveyourselfisessentialtoyourmentalhealth.Hereare33waysyoucanpracticeself-love.READMORE